


Watching A Silent Dawn

by vampirenestor



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Abusive Sonia Kaspbrak, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - No Pennywise (IT), Artist Bill Denbrough, Beverly Marsh Knows Everything, Eddie Kaspbrak & Beverly Marsh Are Best Friends, Eddie Kaspbrak Has Issues, Eddie Kaspbrak Has a Bad Time, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Good Friend, Eddie Kaspbrak is a Good Significant Other, Endgame Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Everyone Loves Mike Hanlon, Frank Kaspbrak Lives, Georgie Denbrough Lives, Good Parent Frank Kaspbrak, M/M, Mentioned Georgie Denbrough, Mentioned Sonia Kaspbrak, Mike Hanlon is a Good Friend, Mute Richie Tozier, Muteness, Poet Ben Hanscom, Richie Tozier Has Issues, Richie Tozier Has PTSD, Richie Tozier Has Panic Attacks, Richie Tozier Has a Bad Time, Richie Tozier Has a Sister, Sassy Stanley Uris, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak, Soft Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Soft Richie Tozier, Sonia Kaspbrak's A+ Parenting, Stanley Uris is So Done, Supportive Losers Club (IT), Teenage Losers Club (IT)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 06:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 19,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25139902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampirenestor/pseuds/vampirenestor
Summary: Richie Tozier doesn't speak. He hasn't for 4 years. He doesn't expect anything to change when his "family" moves to Derry, Maine, until he meets a completely unexpected bombshell named Eddie Kaspbrak that is. Then it's all a whirlwind of change from there.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough/Stanley Uris, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 42
Kudos: 55





	1. Trying for Tomorrow

**Author's Note:**

> Hello all! I just wanted to tell you all that this story is a repost of my story on Wattpad where it's originally published. If you want to read it there you can find me @anotherreddiesimp :) I will try to publish chapters as much as possible, they might be uploaded in a day, they might be uploaded in two weeks. But this is just a lil reminder that it's a republish/reupload, whatever you wanna call it.  
> //  
> Also I really really hope I portrayed Richie's muteness in an accurate and non-harmful way, and I am so sorry if I did in any way!!  
> But otherwise, enjoy!!

Richie Tozier sat in the back of his parents' old battered up car. He didn't really care to know what exactly it was, just that the silver color on it was slowly being chased by a dull gray and it was older than him. Looking out the window, he huffed and turned up his Walkman as far as the dainty machine would let him. This was the 4th time this year alone that his parents had decided to just up and whisk their lives away yet again. It had gotten so bad to the point of him doing online school because they moved so much. It pissed him off, yet Richie didn't really expect any different of this seemingly shitty town that seemed like all the other ones he'd been to. All the same shitty people, with all the same shitty attitudes towards all the same shitty things. He sighed and closed his eyes. At least he wouldn't have to deal with his father tomorrow. His father went straight to work first thing in the morning. He would try and hope that tomorrow would be a better day than today. He hoped that everyday. In fact, he would always try for tomorrow.


	2. Silver Haze and Banged Up Skateboards

Eddie Kaspbrak sat against his windowsill looking down at the cars passing by from his second-floor room with a cigarette hanging out of his ragged and badly manicured nails done up with clear nail polish from Beverly Marsh. He sighed as he watched a silver-gray car pass by and looked at the cancer stick he so hated to love. After he'd learnt his asthma was a load of shit, he decided to try a smoke or two to beat the psychosomatic leftovers he was so pleasantly gifted with after quitting his inhaler cold turkey. "Jesus fuckin Christ man, these taste like shit. How the fuck Bev and Bill smoke these beats me. Need to get better ones." Eddie shook his head and smashed out the butt of the cigarette on the windowsill and hopped out. A quick glance at the alarm clock on his nightstand and decided it was time to start getting ready to go to the quarry with the rest of the Losers Club. He threw off his plain black hoodie and threw on a pastel green t-shirt, and black skinny jeans with yellow slip-on shoes. He always found it amusing that his outfits always seemed to clash yet worked so well at the same time. He grabbed his "pink ass skateboard" as Bev would call it, and made it out the door past his sleeping mother towards his friends riding on his Christmas gift from Bill Denbrough. On his way there, he damn near had a heart attack from catching sight of Henry Bowers and his gang, but luckily he wasn't spotted. He continued on his skateboard and pulled out his phone and called Bev. "Hi Bevvie, I just wanted to call you to let you know that I'm probably gonna be late getting to the quarry. I spotted Henry and his idiots on my way, luckily they didn't see me but I'm gonna have to lay low. See ya." He hung up and began to put his phone away when all of a sudden,

-BANG-

"Ow! What the fuck dude! Didn't anyone ever teach you not to walk straight into a fucking guy on a skateboard?"


	3. Notebooks and Quarries

* * *

"Ow! What the fuck dude! Didn't anyone ever teach you not to walk straight into a fucking guy on a skateboard?" Eddie spewed angrily towards the boy who knocked him flat on the ground. He looked up at the stranger whilst continuing to stay on the ground. "Well? Got anything to say asshole? Maybe an apology?" The curly haired boy with glasses just stood there with his mouth open, gaping like a fish with his hands frozen on an open notebook. Then as if he seemed to finally notice the spiteful glare Eddie was shooting at him, he fumbled with his notebook and quickly scrawled something down and handed it to Eddie. _I'm so sorry for knocking you down, I was looking around and I completely zoned out and didn't see you. Sorry again._ Eddie frowned. "I guess I accept your apology, but why aren't you talking? I mean obviously you can hear me but like, what's the deal? I'm Eddie by the way." The boy looked like he was in pain for only a second before taking back the notebook. Eddie studied his face as the other boy wrote in his loopy scrawl. Curly dark hair, thick, black framed glasses and freckles across his face like stars. His face seemed to glow like the moon as well. He tore his eyes away when the boy handed him the notebook. _It's a personal thing. I'd rather not talk about it, I just moved here and I don't wanna be seen as the weird kid although my silence has probably already done the job. I'm Richie by the way._ Eddie scanned the page and laughed dryly. "Well I guess that's what silence does to ya. You said you're new right?" Richie nodded. "Well I'm headed out to see my friends if you want to come? You don't have to of course but the offer stands." Eddie asked with a sliver of hope. Richie bit his lip while in thought. Then he slowly smiled and nodded yes. Eddie visibly brightened at this and quickly got off the ground. He pulled out his phone and checked his notifications. _6 missed calls from Bev. Bev: where the hell are you Eddie? You're 15 minutes late! Did Bowers get you??_ Eddie paled. "SHIT I'm late!" He picked up his abandoned skateboard and turned to Richie. "Dude come on we gotta go- follow me!" And just like that, the start of a probably really clichè friendship was born. Or was it made? Who knows.


	4. Quarry Diving

Eddie and Richie came sprinting down the path towards the quarry while Eddie's friends sat and waited for him impatiently. The boys slowed and came to a halt, slightly sweaty and panting for breath. Stan Uris, a member of the Losers Club, stood up and rushed over to him. "Eddie! Where the hell have you been? We've been waiting and waiting for you, we thought Bowers caught you!" Stan rushed out all in one breath. He wasn't angry so much as nervous- anxious really. Eddie tensed up and screwed his eyes shut. Deep breath in, exhale out. "I'm so so sorry Stan, at first I had to lay low because I saw Bowers and his gang but they didn't see me, then I practically hit someone on my skateboard- this is Richie by the way- and then we got distracted talking to each other sorta, and then afterwards I finally noticed the time. I'm so sorry for making you guys wait on me. Really." Stan saw the guilt so clearly written across Eddie's face and softened. "It's okay Eddie. We were just worried about you. And who did you say that was again?" Stanley pointed to Richie while Eddie watched on. "Oh! That's Richie! He's the guy I crashed into- well more like walked into me but it's all the same right? Anyways he's new in town and I thought it would be okay if I brought him along to make new friends. If that's okay with you guys of course." Eddie looked around hopefully. Bev smiled and nodded. "Of course that's okay, we're always welcome to new members of the Losers Club." She turned to Richie. "Hi Richie, I'm Beverly but you can call me Bev. And those are Ben, Mike, Bill, and Stan." Each face nodded respectively to their names. Richie looked completely and utterly intimidated. And pale. Very very pale. Eddie was looking at him, hoping he wouldn't freeze up like he did when Eddie spoke to him. He nudged Richie. "C'mon Rich, don't freeze up, I swear they don't bite." Richie turned to Eddie and blinked slowly before nodding and getting out his notebook. Eddie turned around only to be greeted with a sea of confused faces. Eddie sighed. "Richie doesn't speak. He writes in his notebook to communicate. He says it's a personal reason. But I don't mind." Before any of them could speak, Richie handed Eddie the notebook. _I'm Richie, I'm new and I like the 80's more than anything in the world. Nice to meet you guys._ Eddie read aloud to the group. "Well now that everyone has been introduced, let's go in! I've kept you all from it long enough. Let's go Rich! We're jumping into the quarry!" Eddie grabbed Richie's hand and jumped in, clothes and all. Soon after the others followed in. They played for hours just swimming and playing chicken and all the other swim games you could think of. Finally after awhile they all sat against the bank of the quarry just sunbathing and lightly conversing. Not long after the sun began to set and when the stars came out to play, the Losers had to go home. And home they went but each had a bright smile on their face knowing that they had made a new friend that day. Especially Richie.


	5. Macaroni Dinners and Scary Movies

Richie waltzed into his home with a star-shine smile stuck on his face. He failed to notice the absence of his parents as he was too caught up in thinking about the cute boy with paint splatter freckles and a golden smile. He padded up the stairs towards his room when he was attacked from behind by a mysterious figure. He smiled even wider and turned around. "Richie Tozier! Where have you been? It's been hours since you left and mom and dad have been gone all day! How am I, an 11 year old girl, supposed to take care of myself when no one is home?" Richie rubbed his neck sheepishly at the girl who scolded him with a smile. His sister. Clarissa Tozier was the only sibling of Richie Tozier and she looked exactly like him. Wavy brown hair, glasses, and almost as tall as him at only 11 while Richie was 16. Richie pulled out his customary form of communication and wrote his explanation. _Sorry Rissa. I made new friends and lost track of the time. Maybe you can come with next time?_ Richie awaited patiently as Clarissa read it over with a smirk on her face. "New friends huh? You're never out this long with friends. Meet anyone, oh I don't know, special?" She unknowingly teased Richie. He smiled lazily and shrugged just to mess with his sister. He took back the notebook and began writing again. _It's starting to get dark and we haven't eaten yet. Wanna eat cheap macaroni and watch scary movies? You get first pick this time._ Clarissa read it over and responded at lightning speed. "DUH! Of course I do, who do you think I am? Last one down the stairs has to make dinner!" And with that Clarissa sped down the stairs with Richie at her tail, both just trying to make best of the night with neglectful parents in a new house, in a new town, in a new state.


	6. Enigmas & Paradoxes

Eddie Kaspbrak sat on the top of his home smoking yet another cigarette. He didn't really care about what it could do to his body. He stopped that a long time ago. Now, while watching the night sky with stars that seemed to glitter like sequins sewn into a cosmic fabric, he thought about the boy that didn't speak. Richie Tozier, a boy whose very face contradicted itself. A bright smiling face with anxious eyes. Hugging arms on a scared body. It's like his whole demeanor said _Hey!_ _Even though I don't talk, I'm one of the happiest people you know but my body says I'm scared shitless! There's a mystery for you to figure out!_ Eddie thought that Richie was as if an enigma had kids with a paradox and out came Richie. But he enjoyed the mystery of Richie Tozier. He'd been around for a month now, and every day he showed up at the quarry waiting for one Loser or another. Yet he still hasn't spoken a word, and Eddie was enamored by the boy himself, although he'd never admit that aloud. He wouldn't entertain the fact that maybe the Notorious Eddie Kaspbrak has feelings for someone. Absolutely not. Such a notion was absurd. At least in Eddie's book. At school, Eddie Kaspbrak was famous for his looks, intelligence, and the fact that he turned down every person who came his way to ask him out, boy and girl. It didn't matter to him. Eddie never liked anyone romantically. Anyone outside the Losers Club was denied both friendship and relationship. But Richie? Richie was different and Eddie didn't know why he decided that when they crashed into each other a month ago. But what Eddie did know is that he was scared. Scared about the fact that he was starting to develop feelings for the boy who never spoke. That was another mystery Eddie had to crack. Eddie sighed and flicked the butt of his cigarette off the roof and slinked his way back into his room for a night filled with dreams of a silent movie star that looked eerily like Richie Tozier.


	7. Maybe Someday Eds

Eddie sat on the edge of the quarry trying to clear his head from what had occured earlier. His parents, Frank and Sonia, had gotten into an argument about god knows what this time and Eddie had barely managed to sneak out without notice. He shoved his hands into his sweater pocket for his pack of cigarettes he had filched from the drugstore last week, only to remember he'd left them at home in the rush to get out. He huffed angrily and shouted. "Fuck! Why is today such a shitshow? Things have been fine this past month, well not the best they could be, but hey not everything is perfect. I made friends with Richie, and of course it's NOW that my parents decide to hate each other!" Eddie sighed and sat back down. "On top of that, I don't think Richie will be talking anytime soon. All I want is to hear his voice." Eddie whispered that last part to himself in a defeated voice. He got up and turned around to leave when he was pleasantly surprised. "Rich. Uh, hi. What are you doing here? It's been awhile." He just shrugged and walked over to where Eddie stood. Richie nudged Eddie's shoulder and raised a brow. In the time that he'd been there, Eddie had learned that doing so was Richie's way of asking what was wrong. Eddie tried staying angry at his parents but he couldn't. He couldn't be anything but happy when Richie was around. "Nothing important really. Just my parents arguing. I guess it just got to the best of me, I don't know." Richie looked sympathetic before writing in his readily open notebook at hand. Eddie took this as an opportunity to stare- erm, look at Richie's features yet again. He had yet to notice that while Eddie was admiring, Richie had finished writing and nudged him again, only with a knowing smirk painted on his face. Eddie blushed profusely before barely managing to spit out an apology and grab the notebook. _Parent problems huh? I know those all too well. Don't let them get to you Eds. It's not worth getting worked up over someone else's problems._ Eddie cringed at the nickname but decided it could maybe grow on him. "Okay first of all, don't call me Eds. I hate it. Second of all, I hate to break it to you, but this handwriting is horrible. Like seriously, I think Bill's brother Georgie can do better! Come on dude." Richie just laughed at Eddie's outburst against his nickname and Richie's handwriting. Richie slung an arm around Eddie and opened his mouth as if to say something, but then just closed it and gestured to the edge of the quarry where Eddie had been sitting previously. Eddie nodded and they both sat on the edge. Eddie sighed and layed his head against Richie's shoulder. "I wish everything wasn't so fucked up at times. And I know this is probably really selfish of me, but sometimes I wish you talked just so I could hear your voice." Richie just sat in thought for a minute before pulling out his notebook again. _Maybe someday Eds, maybe someday._ And with that, Richie decided to try something new. He apprehensively wrapped an arm around Eddie's waist, and when Eddie didn't move or make any comment against him, Richie relaxed for the first time that day while they both just sat with each other watching over the quarry enjoying each other's presence a little more than what they would call friendly.


	8. Poetic Butterflies

Beverly woke to a amber ray of sun shining on her face, warm and comforting. _Fuck. Too early._ She internally grumbled and flopped onto her other side away from the sunny window, hair splayed all across her face. After an hour of trying to fall asleep and failing, she gave up and stumbled out of her room and into the kitchen for breakfast. Her mother Elfrida was serving up a plate of French Toast when Beverly walked in. Her mother turned and smiled. "I thought I heard someone up and walking around. Morning darling." Elfrida handed Beverly her plate and kissed her on the cheek. "Morning momma. Is it okay after breakfast I get ready and go to the library? I wanna see a friend." Beverly asked through a mouthful of food. Her mother smiled softly. "Sure honey, just be home by 7 tonight." Bev smiled and finished her food in a rush. "Thanks momma! Love you!" Bev stood up and put her dishes away and sped toward her room then the bathroom at lightning speed. After her shower Beverly put her long golden-red hair into 2 French braids and went out the door after grabbing her phone off the stand next it. She took off on her path towards the library where she hoped Ben would be. She smiled to herself before increasing her pace and finally arriving. Beverly stood at the front steps leading up to the library and took a deep breath. She didn't know why she was so nervous to see Ben, after all he was just Ben. But lately for whatever reason, he just seemed to stand out to Beverly. Then just like that, Beverly blushed every time Ben complimented her, or smiled at her, or hugged her. Basically any time they interacted. On top of that, it almost seemed like Ben did the same things as well. Beverly didn't know what any of this meant, but she liked the fluttery feeling in her stomach it gave her. She shook her head and began up the steps and walked inside looking around for the boy with a poetic soul. She finally found him looking through the historical fiction section and decided to surprise him. She walked around to the opposite direction of where he was facing and she silently put her soft hands over his eyes. "Guess who?" She cooed softly. Ben played along. "Hm, I don't know, Stanley?" Beverly laughed and pulled her hands off Ben's face. "No silly, it's Mr. Keene." Ben turned around with a crescent moon smile and a dusty blush painted on his face like a sunset. "Hey Bev. What are you doing here?" Bev smiled and shoved him lightly. "I'm here to see you of course. Now what are you reading today?" Bev gestured to the book Ben was already holding. Ben's blush deepened. "Well, uh, it's a poetry book. One of my favourites actually." Bev adored how he got all shy that he had a poetry book. "Would you maybe mind reading me some? I wanna know your favorite." Ben seemed to struggle with himself before answering Bev. "I, uh, okay. Sure. Let's sit down." Ben lead the pair to a nearby table before opening his book to a page deep in the thick book. “ ** _To be in love is to touch with a lighter hand. In yourself you stretch, you are well. You look at things through his eyes. A cardinal is red. A sky is blue. Suddenly you know he knows too._** ” Ben read the entire verse while looking at Beverly. Beverly got the fluttery feeling in her stomach again and covered her blushing face with her hands. "It's by Gwendolyn Brooks. He's my favorite actually. Do- do you like it?" Ben asked apprehensively. Bev beamed at him. "I, uh, I love it. Would you mind writing it down for me? I want to remember that." Ben nodded and pulled out a pen and a sheet of paper out of his nearby backpack. "Yeah, of course." Ben wrote the poetry in his neatest handwriting and handed the paper to Beverly. "Actually, would it be okay if you could read me some more? I like the way you read the poetry." Bev asked timidly. Ben slowly smiled and nodded. "Yeah of course I can. It's no trouble at all." Just like that, Ben and Beverly spent the rest of the day at the library with Ben reading poetry aloud and Beverly listening, mesmerized by how gracefully Ben turned words into art, into _feelings._ The fluttery feeling in Bev's stomach didn't go away until the next day.


	9. Sonia Makes A Decision

Eddie and Richie sat together on the quarry's edge for not much longer before Richie had to leave. He did have a younger sister to take care of after all. That left Eddie with 2 choices: either continue to sit there all alone and keep pouting that his parents were fighting, or suck it up and head home so he could fill his hollow stomach. Eddie mulled it over before ultimately deciding on something. He was going to head home to eat, seeing as he was broke and was too gracious to bother the other members of the Losers Club. He begrudgingly made his way towards home, his mind too distracted with the likes of Richie Tozier to notice one less car in the driveway that fit two. He walked inside straight to the kitchen to get himself a bowl of strawberries when he noticed the disconcerting silence that rang throughout the house. He frowned. Normally when he walked inside from doing anything, he was barraged by his mother asking him all sorts of ridiculous questions and always assuming the worst of everything. That made him frown even more. "Mom? You there?" Eddie warily asked aloud. Silence. Then he heard the door to the bathroom open and visibly relaxed. His father Frank stepped out and smiled at Eddie, only a bit sympathetic, but Eddie didn't seem to notice. "Hey dad. Where'd mom go? She at the store?" Eddie asked through a mouthfull of strawberries. Frank's smile dropped. His throat cleared. "Listen um, Eddie? You might wanna sit down for this one." Eddie started to get nervous. "What why? Is she okay? Is she hurt? Was it Nana? Did Nana fall down the stairs again?" Eddie began to spew questions out of his mouth like bullets. Frank sighed. "No Eddie it's nothing like that. You know how me and your mom were fighting earlier?" Eddie's mouth went dry. "Y-yeah." Frank was struggling as how to tell Eddie without destroying him. "Well uh, that was a pretty big argument and this time we couldn't really agree with each other. Eddie, your- your mom left. We got into an argument and she left." Eddie stopped eating. "W-what? She left? Just like that?" His dad nodded. "Yeah, just like that." Eddie broke out into a smile. "Oh my GOD YES! Yes yes yes yes! Dad, you don't understand how much this makes me happy. Oh my god I can't believe this is really happening!" Frank was just utterly confused at Eddie's outburst of happiness at Sonia's leave. He did see how "protective" she was of him, but Frank always thought that was normal parenting. Regardless, she was gone and things were in dire need of change. "I definitely did not expect this reaction, but still nonetheless, things are going to change around here Eddie. You're going to have to help out alot more as well okay? I can't do this by myself." Eddie nodded in understanding. "Can I erm, use my phone dad? I wanna call someone." Frank nodded and walked away. Eddie began rifling through the kitchen drawers looking for the City of Derry Phonebook. Finally he found who he was looking for. _Tozier._ He grabbed his cell phone and rang. " _Hello? This is the Tozier Residence."_ A young and feminine voice came through the line. "Um, hi. Is Richie there? I'm Eddie, a friend of his. I was wondering if it would be okay if I could come over?" The line went silent for a minute before the girl's voice came through again. "Yeah that's fine. Rich seems bored anyways. Come on over. I'm Clarissa by the way." Eddie smiled widely. "Sweet! Thank you so so much. I'll be over soon!" And with that, Eddie hung up and looked at the address next to Tozier, left the house with a quick goodbye to his dad and went on his way to the Tozier household bearing good news. After 10 minutes of walking, Eddie finally reached the house. A lavender, 2 story house with rose bushes surrounding the sides of the house and a lattice leading up to a window on the left wall. Eddie bounded up the stairs to the porch and knocked. " _Clarissa right?"_


	10. A Tozier Family Dinner

"Clarissa right?" Eddie asked a bit nervously. She smiled and nodded. "Yep that's me! Come on in." Clarissa gestured in and Eddie followed inside to the beautiful house that lay inside. Eddie couldn't help but stare at everything in awe. Clarissa took notice of that and giggled. "We have a pretty nice place huh? Come on, Richie's upstairs listening to music." She grabbed his wrist and practically dragged Eddie up the stairs towards Richie's room. Letting go of his wrist, Clarissa knocked on the door. "Hey Rich? You got a friend here to see you, name's Eddie." They waited only a moment before the door opened and Eddie was greeted by a very smiley Richie. Both Clarissa and Eddie were shocked at how happy he looked. Eddie noticed there was no secret emotions hidden in his body language either. Richie was actually just happy. Eddie smiled back. "Hey Richie. I have some good news I wanted to share with you. Can I come in?" Richie nodded, still smiling, and let the door in wider to let Eddie through. Richie sat on the bed and motioned for Eddie to join. Once Eddie sat down, Richie gave him the classic look. The one where he nudged Eddie's shoulder and raised a brow. Eddie's stomach churned at the sight. But in a good way, like when you're riding a really fast rollercoaster. Eddie always loved that feeling. "Okay so long story short, my super annoying, controling, over-worrying about everything mom left! So now it's just me and my dad! This is great news Rich, I know it doesn't sound like it is, but I swear it is." Richie seemed to stare at Eddie in contemplation before smiling and hugging him. Maybe 30 seconds after that Richie had his customary notebook in hand and gave Eddie his message. _If she was bad for you, then I'm glad she's gone Eds. You don't deserve negative ass people in your life like that._ Eddie read it through and laughed at the sight of the nickname but softened at the end bit. "Thanks Rich, really. You make a pretty good best friend ya know." Eddie nudged Richie's shoulder this time while Richie was over the moon that Eddie considered him his best friend. Richie just shrugged with a small smile on his face. Suddenly, Eddie's face brightened with the light of an idea. "Hey! I have an idea! Let's go out to the diner to celebrate, and we can bring your sister if we need to. How's that sound?" Before Richie could respond, Clarissa's voice came wavering from down the hall. "Someone said something about a diner? I'm all for a diner date! Let's go guys!" Eddie and Richie just looked at each other before exploding into fits of laughter. Right as they were calming down, the boys looked at each other again and completely lost their composure and began laughing again. Finally after awhile, Eddie wiped tears of laughter off his face and began to get up. "Alright, let's go Tozier Gang, we got some food to eat!" And with that, Clarissa, Richie, and Eddie ventured off to have a celebratory family dinner that came rare for all three of them within their own separate families. But that's okay, because Eddie and Richie had each other, and even though Eddie had only met Clarissa that day, she too became part of the little family that had been forming between the other two. Eddie liked having more than one family. Now he had three. His blood family, the Losers, and now the Toziers.


	11. Soft Touches of Lightning

Eddie, Richie, and Clarissa all strode into the diner that was on the edge of town bearing smiles a mile wide each. Richie of course, had an arm strung around Eddie's shoulders while Eddie felt like lightning at every contact point with Richie. Clarissa stood off to the side with a look that knew all too well. Eddie led the trio to a soft and squishy corner booth where menus already lay before them. Clarissa looked at Richie- both of them seeming to have a conversation with their eyes before turning to Eddie. "Thanks for taking us out Eddie, even if it is your celebration and not ours. So thanks, from both of us." Eddie's heart leaped at such gratitude. He blushed and ducked his head down. "Well, uh, as much as I love our other group- The Losers Club, that is, I feel like you guys are the people I should be celebrating with. Richie is the only person who knows the truth about how my mom treated me, well and now you. But point being is, I've only shared with you guys and it seems right that I celebrate with you guys so, yeah." Eddie finally brought his head up to look at Richie, who was smiling so softly yet oh so fondly, like he was just given the best thing one could think of- and in Richie's eyes, he was. All Richie had ever wanted his entire life was to have friends, and now he has a whole group of them. But most importantly, he has Eddie. Him and Eddie have been steadily growing closer with the time that Richie has spent as a new member of the Losers Club, and Richie couldn't be happier. Before his brain could catch up with his body, Richie's long and lanky arms were wrapped around Eddie's petite body in an instant. Really it was just Richie's way of saying _thankyouthankyouthankyou_ without having to utter a word. Eddie hugged back, and just like that, the world decided it was the perfect time to send the waiter over to their table. _Of fucking course._ Clarissa cleared her throat and the two boys pulled apart and turned to face the waiter.

~

Eddie was laughing like a madman at Richie, who decided at random to shove two french fries into his nostrils and make a funny face at Eddie who just lost it while Clarissa was cackling even harder because she managed to snap a picture on Eddie's phone. "Oh- my- GOD Richie! Doesn't that feel weird?" Eddie had managed to ask in between breaths of laughter. Richie just smiled coyly and shrugged. He then decided to make things even worse by pulling a fry out of his nose and dipping it into his vanilla shake and proceeded to eat it. Both Clarissa and Eddie gagged. "Gross Richard, seriously, like EW." Clarissa said while laughing. Eddie, also laughing, agreed. "Yeah 'Chee it's almost like you have no respect for that french fry. Poor thing." Richie had a quizzical look on his face for only a second before smiling and shaking his head at Eddie. Clarissa smirked. "Chee huh? What's next? Cheeta?" Richie burst out laughing and started slapping the table, as some do. Eddie just looked at his lap with a faint smile. Abandoning his plate of already forgotten food, he stood up. "C'mon Rich. I gotta go, I told my dad I wouldn't be out long and it's already sunset." Eddie stuck his hand out to help Richie up and Richie just gave him a big puppy-eyed pouty face while Clarissa booed him. Eddie laughed. "Seriously guys, if I could, I'd sleepover but I like my bed more than Richie so really I'm fine either way. Plus I'll pay the tab." That last part got both Richie and Clarissa bounding out of the corner booth they'd been occupying and towards the front door. Eddie just laughed lightly and shook his head at them. "Cheapskates. I can't believe those two." Eddie payed the bill and went outside where the siblings awaited him. They began their return walk barely making it five feet before Eddie turned towards Clarissa to ask a question. "So uh, do you guys want me to walk you home or are you guys good on your own? Cause I'm okay with either, I just wanna know." Clarissa stole a glance at Richie who's attention was anywhere but there. "Well Eddie, frankly, I'm so tired I could be Sleeping Beauty, but I'm sure Rich here wouldn't mind accompanying you home. Right Richie?" Richie finally brought his attention back to the here and now before looking at Clarissa for a minute and then nodding. He turned to Eddie with a smile and threw an arm around Eddie and ruffling his hair. Eddie began to feel those familiar stings of lightning at all the contact points of him and Richie. Clarissa waved the two goodbye before breaking off and started on her way home. That left the two boys, an unusual sense of electricity in the air around them. Eddie recognized it as the lightning he felt every time Richie put an arm around his shoulders. They continued walking in silence for a bit before Richie dropped his arm to adjust the soft-woven gray beanie that perched atop his mop of curly hair. Richie's arm did not return to his original spot around Eddie's shoulder, but instead let his hand loosely hang, just barely grazing the knuckles on Eddie's hand. Eddie felt like his hand was on fire, but in a good way. Like his hand had been dead his entire life and it was just now coming alive, or whatever. Eddie thought that analogy was stupid. Out of nowhere, Eddie had procured a dangerous idea. Eddie wanted to try to link pinkies with Richie. Sure, it probably sounded stupid, but Eddie liked the idea of sharing such a subtle form of affection. Eddie had also been questioning his identity lately, all because of Richie, no less. Eddie hadn't really been able to come to a conclusion, mostly just pushing away any and all thoughts of the possibility of him maybe liking Richie. No way. There was no need to like Richie, or change anything or whatever. Eddie liked things the way they were now. But still, Eddie wanted to try it nonetheless. So, slowly but surely (and hopefully subtly), he began to extend his pinky finger out towards Richie. Grazing his finger a tad bit more than they'd originally been, Richie seemed to get the message and completely linked their pinkies. Eddie could've swore he felt his soul go aflight. Richie made no moves. No turning his head to smile at Eddie, no pulling away from Eddie, nothing. He just kept his head forward staring ahead. Eddie nearly frowned. Nearly. Soon after, they'd finally arrived at Eddie's house. Eddie turned towards Richie, still keeping their smallest fingers locked together. Eddie smiled at the boy who stood, awaiting his message. "Thanks for walking me home 'Chee. Really. I had a great time with you and your sister today. You guys are wild fun." Richie laughed softly. He brought his other hand up to link his pinky with Eddie's other hand, so now they stood with both pinkies linked, both smiling. Eddie reached forward and hugged Richie tightly. "You don't understand how much you really mean to me." Eddie spoke into Richie's shoulder. Richie sighed happily and brought an arm up to gently pet Eddie's hair. Eddie wanted to melt like ice cream right then and there. The two stood like that for a minute or two before Eddie sighed and pulled away. "I gotta go home Richie. 'M sorry. If it's any consolation, the Losers are all meeting at the quarry tomorrow at noon. Be there or be square." Eddie giggled at his last statement and looked at Richie for an answer. He nodded with a grin wider than the Kenduskeag river than ran through their small town nearby. "Bye Rich. See you tomorrow." Eddie waved, and Richie stayed until he was completely inside before walking home to Clarissa in the rapidly darkening twilight feeling happier than he has in months.


	12. A Truth So Plainly Told

By noon the following day, all the Losers' were together at the quarry. Everyone was waiting for Stan and Bill, as they were the last ones to arrive. Bev was the first to ask the pair a question. "What took you guys so long Bill? Did something happen with your guys' parents?" Bill and Stan quickly exchanged a look unrecognizable to Bev before Stan spoke up. "No Bev, nothing happened. He just got late to picking me up." Bev's concern grew into a sly smile. "Got late pickin' you up huh? Any particular reason for that Billy?" Bill was confused for only a second before he noticed the look on Beverly's face and groaned with a hand covering half his face. "That's d-d-disgusting, Buh-Bev." Stan looked like he wanted to be anywhere else. "Are we going swimming or what? Seriously guys." He spoke up, and before letting anyone answer, he immediately began to shed his clothes at lightning speed and made a break for the quarry, and dove. Ben just stared after him in awe. "Woah, Stan never goes first when we jump..." Mike didn't hesitate to be the next jumper. _Strip, run, dive._ Ben and Bev together went next, their shy hands linked together, both faces as red as Bev's hair. Bill went after them, leaving only Richie and Eddie. Eddie turned towards Richie who stared down at the water below. "You know you don't have to jump right? We can just take the long way and swim into the water instead of jumping." Eddie spoke in a soft voice. He reached his pinky out. "Whatever you wanna do, I'm with you Rich. Wanna walk down instead?" Richie continued to stare at the water uneasily before turning to Eddie and nodding, and linking their pinkies on the walk down. Finally they reached the level where the ground met water and began to wade in to meet the others. Once re-joined with the group, Stan questioned them with a smug look. "Hey Eddie, have you eaten any spicy foods lately? Cause your face is redder than Bev's hair and I don't think it's a sunburn either." Bill and Bev giggled while Ben and Mike rolled their eyes with a smile. "Hey Stan, when you leave, don't be gone too long because I think someone might miss you." Eddie quiped back with a smirk. Richie joined the others when they all laughed as Stan was now the red one. "Okay guys, enough of that. Let's play some games!" Mike had saved everyone from Stan and Eddie's bickering, or whatever that was, and they all went off to play quarry games. Soon after they'd finished their 3rd game of playing chicken, Eddie swam to shore claiming he'd "die of exhaustion soon if he didn't get a break or at least a cigarette." Lately, with Richie around, Eddie found himself too busy to need a smoke, but now as he settled himself upon a smooth rock on shore, his fingers twitched for a light. "Hey Bev!" Eddie called out to her. "What's up E? Need a smoke or somethin'?" Eddie nodded. Bev turned to Bill. "What about you Billy? Crave a smoke lately?" Bill thought about it for a minute before giving his answer. "Y-you know w-what? Yeah, I-I'll take o-one." Bev and Bill made their way back to shore where Eddie sat waiting for them with jittery fingers. Bev made the trek back to the top of the quarry where her bag sat, then quickly came back. She reached into her bag, pulled out the pack of cigarettes and handed Eddie and Bill two each. "Alright fuckers here you go. I'm only giving you two because this is my last pack and I'm almost out. Savor it." Bill nodded his thanks and Eddie wandered towards the treeline. He smoked his way through a jumbled mess of feelings, frustration, and _Richie_. Richie of course, being the sole occupant of both of the other two sub-thoughts. Eddie grumbled as he flicked away the last of his second cigarette and began to dress and pack up his things. "HEY GUYS! I THINK I'M GONNA HEAD HOME ALRIGHT? DON'T WAIT UP!" As Eddie began down the path back towards town and out of view of the quarry, he heard a pair of footsteps running after him. A hand on Eddie's shoulder turned him around. _Richie._ "Oh, uh, hey Rich. Did I accidentally grab something of yours? I might've." Richie just shook his head no, raised his hand to about waist-height, and stuck his pinky out towards Eddie, with a shy smile on his face. Eddie immediately knew what Richie meant to ask, seeing as apparently he already had his things with him, and not a notebook in sight. The question, Richie was asking, was something burned into Eddie's mind from the day before. Eddie returned the smile, and stuck his own pinky out. Linking their pinkies once again, Eddie led the pair towards his home. As the duo began to reach the neighborhood in which Eddie resided, Eddie's jumbled mess of a mind cleared up- if only a little. And what suddenly became so clear, was absolutely frightening, but Eddie welcomed it with open arms as he realized what came into fruition: _Eddie had feelings for Richie-_ _ **romantic**_ _feelings._


	13. Golden Sketchpad Dreams

Stan watched as Richie ran off to be with Eddie after getting dressed and gathering his things in the blink of an eye and sighed. "So, who do you guys think will be the first one to confess? My money's on Eddie." Stan pitched the question to the remaining Losers. Mike went first. "To be completely honest? I think Richie. I mean, sure, he doesn't talk, but look at him! It's like he's filled to the brim with love for Eddie!" Ben agreed and Beverly made a noise of disagreement. "Wait, seriously Ben? No way that's happening. It's totally Eddie. He's falling in love with the guy just trying to figure him out and unlock his deepest secrets! It's like watching Stan do his bird puzzles, you can practically see it radiating off of him. It's definitely gonna be Eddie." Stan frowned at Bev's comment about his beloved puzzles. "Um, excuse you Beverly. Those puzzles are my heart and soul, thank you very much." She just laughed while Bill broke his silence. "I juh-genuinely think th-that they don't know th-they're like, totally in l-love with each uh-other." Stan smiled at Bill's theory. "That's actually a pretty good one Bill. Maybe one of them knows they like the other, but being in love? They're so clueless." Bev laughed. "Sounds like another couple I know." She said with a sly smile and turned to Ben and Mike for backup. Ben was lost, but Mike knew exactly what Bev had implied. "Oh yeah, I agree Bevvy. That sounds very much like a couple I know. One likes to draw and the other likes birds. They both like each other but definitely don't know the other is in love." Bev's face morphed into one of pure awe and shock at Mike not even holding back. Ben had a hand over his face, also in surprise. The remaining duo had just turned red and stepped away from each other slightly. "Oh come on Mike, it's so not like that. Have some common sense man." Stan said to Mike while looking at the quarry water they were still in. "Y-yeah Mike, yuh-you're star-starting to suh-sound like Buh-Bev." Mike just shrugged and laughed while swimming away. "I'm just calling it how I see it!" Ben looked apologetic before swimming off with Beverly attached to his shoulder. Bill turned to Stan. "I'm suh-sorry, that was ri-ridiculous. Bev and Mike are wuh-wild." Stan lightened up a bit and laughed at Bill. "She sure is Bill. She gets all that fire from her hair. Where else would it come from??" Both Stan and Bill laughed together. Stan turned to Bill after recovering from their Bev-fueled laughter. "Wanna join me on the rocks and dry off?" Stan gestured towards the shoreline and waited for Bill to answer. Bill just smiled lightly and nodded. 

They both made their way to the shoreline without so much as a word to the other Losers, who were busy being caught up in a game of Marco Polo. Stan laid out a beach towel he'd brought along and laid out another one for Bill, who always loved Stan's thoughtful consideration for him and him only. Bill smiled while watching Stan lay out his spare towel for Bill before laying down on his own. Bill said a quick thanks and laid on the towel next to Stanley. They laid together in silence, and Bill was half asleep when Stan finally broke the peace. "I wonder what it's like to be in love like they are. So...so at peace and happy with each other." Bill sat up and looked at Stan. "Wh-who Stanny?" Stan got up and mirrored Bill's position. "Those two of course. Just look at them." Stan stuck his arm out and pointed to Beverly and Ben, who were afloat together and whispering in each other's ears while Mike swam around unknowingly with his arms out like planks of wood, apparently still playing Marco Polo. Bev giggled and threw her head back at something Ben said, only to be pulled back by him because Mike had heard and dove after the pair like a lion in the midst of his hunt. Bill watched as Ben led Beverly around Mike in circles while Ben was trying very hard to stifle a laugh at their own antics. Bill sighed and redirected his attention back to Stan. Stan had this look on his face, almost something like jealousy, but underneath that, Bill could see a flicker of something else. Sadness maybe? Bill has always been able to read people like an open book. But when it came to Stan? It was almost like Stan knew when Bill was going to try to read his emotions and then hid them away from him. "Why them? Wuh-wouldn't you want a l-love of your o-own kuh-kind? They suh-seem kinda clichè." Stan smiled and shook his head at the thought. "Hell yeah they are. Why didn't I see that before? In that case, then I most definitely do want my own kind of love." Bill watched as Stan laughed, his face almost as if it were glowing. Bill always noticed things like that, after all, he was told he was an artist. Bill supposed he could be when he grew up, or maybe in another life. All Bill did was sketch things from time to time, including a few of his fellow Losers. Bill noticed how the midday sun made the surface of the quarry water glitter like it had just rained diamonds. He had also noticed the noise tree leaves made when windy almost sounded like tv static- but much less aggressive. Another thing he had noticed was how Stan-

"Hello? Earth to Bill, you there?" Bill jumped out of his daydream as Stan was waving his soft hands in front of Bill's face- who was unknowingly staring at Stan the entirety of his daydream. "Oh! Uh, suh-sorry Stan. Got caught up in uh-another duh-daydream." Bill was red all the way up to the tips of his ears. Stan softened. "Got caught up in the beauty of the world huh? I don't blame you. It's dazzling here." Bill's blush went down a bit. "Y-yeah, it sh-sure is. Sorry fuh-for staring at you th-the whole time. I d-didn't mean to." Stan laid back down on his towel and lifted his arms to rest above his head. "Don't be. It's okay, really. I don't mind." Stan flashed him a soft smile before closing his eyes and eventually dozing off into a light sleep. Once Bill made sure Stan was really asleep, he laid back down on his own towel and closed his eyes, letting a warm sleep take over him as he dreamt of maybe drawing Stanley in his sketchpad one day.


	14. Breathless Flight

Beverly and Ben were the last ones to leave the quarry, not long after Mike left claiming he was "sick of 3rd-wheeling you lovesick puppies." Bev rolled her eyes at Mike and stuck her tongue out while Ben just blushed. After Mike left it got kinda boring with just the two of them and not much else to do, so they just got dressed and packed up to head to the library, which was now their designated hang-out spot for just the two of them. As they walked, Beverly thought of something rather intriguing. "I wonder what Mike must feel like, being the only one." Ben turned and looked at Beverly quizzically. "What? What do you mean Mike's the only one?" Bev sighed and shook her head. "Oh it's nothing. Hey look! The library is just ahead, meet you there!" Bev ran off to the front steps of the library, leaving Ben lost and confused in the dust of her running at a speed Ben could never fathom achieving himself. "Hey-hey wait up Bev! You know I can't run!" Ben huffed and moved to speed up and make his way to Bev who sat waiting for him on the last stair of those leading to the front doors of the library.

Bev giggled as she ran around the big shelf filled with books in an effort to try to hide from Ben who was trying to persuade her to _maybe_ stop smoking, or at least take a break. This, of course, was all fueled by the fact that Beverly had the bravery to light a cigarette in the back of the library, where it was hidden away from the librarian, and where Ben and Bev had taken residence while visiting. Ben made a comment on how she looked funny with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth, and Bev, well being Bev, had decided to make a joke out of the whole thing. "Oh so I look funny huh Benny? Do I look funny while running around like a chicken?" And with that she took off running around the book shelves playing a game of both hide-and-seek and tag. Ben sighed to himself with a smile and got up from his spot. "Come on Bev. It's not even allowed here, plus I think those make you sick or something. They don't even look good." Ben made a half-hearted attempt to chase after Bev, but knew he would ultimately fail. Beverly just laughed at what he said. "Oh Benny. It's not about _looking_ good, it's about _feeling good._ Yeah I'm sure sometime in the long run it won't be good for me, but now? Oh god Benny, it's like a drug to me. It calms my nerves and makes me feel all warm and tingly inside, it's like inhaling pure _fuel._ I'd have you try it, but I don't want you to get addicted like I am." She sighed and looked at the half-gone flame stick and shrugged, ultimately deciding to throw it out. "Bev, I- I don't want you getting sick because of these, now or in the future. Plus, well uh, they stink and sometimes my mom gets mad at me because I come home smelling like you and she thinks I smoke too." Beverly deflated at the confession he'd just made. "She-she gets mad at you? Because of me?" Bev asked a little hurt. Ben was looking at his feet and nodded. "Um, yeah. Not all the time though. But when she does, I'll come home and hug her, and I guess she smells me or something, but she'll let go and give me this stern look and say something like 'Benjamin have you been smoking? You better not be, I did not raise my boy to be a smoker.' And you know, I'll say no, but she never believes me. She'll just frown and say 'I don't like the boy you're growing into Ben.' And I don't know, it just-just makes me sad sometimes that my mom thinks of me that way." Bev was almost crying and had to sit down. She loved Ben's mom, she was angel to all, including Bev, whom she never judged or believed the rumors that flew around town. "That-that stuff really happens Ben? She really says that kinda stuff?" Bev's voice warbled in her efforts to not actually cry. Ben noticed and immediately began to feel bad. "Oh-no please don't cry Bev, it's nothing really. I'll get used to it I swe-" "No Ben! No. I'll try to stop. I'll make an effort to cut down the addiction. I don't ever want to make your momma mad at you. Not ever. I'm sorry Benny." Bev stood up from where she was sitting and flung her arms around Ben as part of her apology. Ben put his arms around her in return. "It's okay Bev, really. Please don't get so worked up over it. I hate seeing you cry." Ben said softly. Bev laughed a little and pulled away to wipe at the tears that had managed to fall when she was hugging Ben. Bev grabbed one of Ben's hands and looked at him a bit shyly. "Sorry. I just care about you a lot and I don't wanna ruin things for you. I'll cut down the smoking and try to stop. Really. But only for you Benny." She smiled at him and grabbed his other hand, so that she had both his hands in hers. She was looking Ben right in the eyes. "I'd do alot for you Ben. Only you." Ben smiled in return. "There's alot I'd do for you too, Bev. Only you." Ben took an apprehensive step towards Beverly, and she seemed to get the hint so she took the lead and leaned forward, let go of Ben's hands in exchange for his face and kissed him softly. Her cool fingertips almost burning into Ben's face, his gentle hands holding her down to Earth. Kissing each other felt incredible, magical actually. Beverly felt like she was flying. Ben felt like the whole ordeal was merely a dream and he'd wake up any minute now back at the quarry with the others. But he didn't. He was kissing Beverly and it was _real._ It was the realest thing Ben had ever experienced. Everything beforehand felt like some odd fever dream to Ben. Beverly felt like she could cry from pure happiness. She couldn't wait to go home and tell her mama that she'd finally understood what love felt like. They only broke apart to catch their breaths. Bev looked at Ben, slightly breathless. "Wow. That-that was amazing. I didn't know that kissing could feel that good." She had wrapped her arms around Ben's shoulders in the process. Ben laughed and agreed. "Yeah. That was really something Bev. You're good at this kinda stuff." Bev smiled wider, if possible. "You know you're my one and only Ben. Actually I have a question." "Shoot." Bev cleared her throat. "Will, uh, will you go out with me Benny? Be my boyfriend?" Ben laughed and hugged her tightly. "Oh my god yes! I've been waiting for this since forever! Yes Beverly I will gladly be your boyfriend." And with that, Ben leaned in and kissed Beverly with just a bit more fervor than Beverly had. She kissed back. Here they were, in their favorite place to be, finally kissing, and finally together.


	15. Short-Circuited

Eddie groaned and got up off of Beverly's bed and began to pace quickly back and forth in her room. "Beverly,Beverly,Beverly. How the _fuck_ am I supposed to deal with this? IhaveacrushonRichieTozierandIdon'thaveasingleclueonwhatIshoulddo. I mean what _should_ I do? Bevbevbevhelphelphelphelp _what the fuck do I do Beverly?_ " Eddie started spitting out his words all in one sentence while pulling at the end of his hair in his despair. Beverly just laughed at his state. "Eddie! First thing you do, is you sit down, and take a breather. Don't make me pull out your old spare inhaler, because I definitely still have it." Eddie just glared at her. She smiled. "Second thing you do, is you think about what you want. Okay, so you like Richie. What do you want to come out of that? To kiss him? Date him? Know what you want before you act Eddie." Eddie dropped his hands from his hair and stopped pacing. "Shit. I didn't even think about that. I-I don't know what I want Bev." Eddie sat back down with Beverly. Eddie sighed and flopped all the way down on his back. Bev laughed. "Okay well, what do you like about him then?" Eddie smiled to himself without even thinking. But thinking was a no-go anyways because all his brain would be able to think of would be _RichieRichieRichie._ Not even any distinctive features, just him as a whole. "So much Bev. I'm short-circuiting just thinking of him!" Bev laughed and grabbed onto Eddie's shoulder for support. She took a moment, and looked back up at Eddie. " _You're whipped dude. Whipped I tell ya. Whipped."_ Eddie groaned again and turned away from her. "Okay, back to where we were, _take things slow._ Just keep things how they are now and see if Richie does anything that might indicate of a possibility of him liking you." Eddie liked that last one. This was much harder than he thought, but talking to Beverly always made things easier.

~

Richie fidgeted anxiously with the hem of his ridiculous floral shirt while waiting on the front step of Mike Hanlon's home. At last, Mike had opened the door and stepped out. "Hey, sorry I took so long to come out. You said you wanted to talk about something? Well, not _actually_ talk but..." Mike had trailed off and looked at Richie. He nodded and grabbed his notebook that sat waiting on the ground next to his feet. Mike led him to an old barn and sat down on a large rock placed in the center. Mike gestured to the open space next to him for Richie to sit down. Richie sat. "So what's on your mind Rich?" Mike had asked. Richie stared at him for a few seconds before beginning to write at a speed so fast Mike thought he might burn through the paper. Finally, Richie handed him the notebook. _I don't really know how to go about this but I'm gonna try. I- I think I like Eds? I'm not really sure. I've walked him home a couple times, and well, I'm not sure if it's too personal to share but I'm gonna do it anyways. The past couple of times I've walked him home, we linked pinkies. I mean it's such a small move but it means so fucking much. And another time he said that I mean alot to him? Every time I'm with him I get this weird tingly feeling in my chest, almost like I'm allergic to something or some shit like that. Mike, help me_ _ **please**_ _I'm so lost._ Mike smiled and laughed at Richie's "dilemma". He handed the notebook back to Richie. "Richie you are so _whipped._ It seems to me that you most definitely have feelings for Eddie. And that pinky thing? It sounds like maybe he likes you too. Now, I don't want to be rude but, how was that so hard for you to figure out?" Mike asked Richie tentatively, hoping he would take it the right way. Richie began writing again. _Well I've never liked anyone like that so I never really knew what that felt like._ Richie handed the notebook to Mike. Mike smiled as he read. "It seems to me that you definitely have romantic feelings for Eddie." Richie froze with his hand on the pen he wrote with. His face saying everything his mouth couldn't. _Holy shit. Holy shit I like Eddie like that. Holy fucking shit I have feelings for Eddie Kaspbrak._ His face speaking louder than any words could. His face dropped into the palms of his hands. Mike just put an Earth-grounding, and cooling hand on his shoulder. "It's okay if you do, Richie. Just take your time and try to relax okay? Just relax." Richie lifted his head and looked at Mike. He smiled in thanks. Mike was always the best at keeping someone level-headed. Maybe Richie could figure this out. Talking to Mike made everything seem so much easier.

Turns out Eddie and Richie had a lot more in common than they thought, that being they both communicate at a speed faster than most would think is normal to their friends, ranting about their feelings for each other.


	16. Electric & Euphoric

After Beverly had told Eddie to wait and see if Richie returned those feelings, Eddie had launched into full anxiety mode. He decided to observe Richie's mannerisms for the following week and pray to whatever all-knowing deity there was that Richie did indeed like Eddie the way Eddie likes Richie. Needless to say, that week was a living hell. Come the weekend, and Eddie was still as clueless as ever. So he decided that they needed to talk. They needed to talk and that was that. No consulting Beverly, no overthinking, nothing. Something needed to be done, and something needed to be done immediately. So when Eddie's dad Frank was on a business trip over the forthcoming weekend, Eddie decided that's when he would go see Richie.

~

His fingers were jittery, his arms were shivering and covered in goosebumps, his mind racing faster than the speed of light. At least that's how it felt to Eddie when he stepped up the petite stairs to the porch, finally in the clear after watching Richie and Clarissa's parents leave yet again in that stupid, stupid car that looked like it couldn't decide between gray or silver. Eddie slowly raised a shaky fist to the door before taking a deep breath and...nothing. Eddie froze with his fist maybe no less than half an inch away from the door. That's when the anxiety made an appearance. _What if I just completely_ _mis-read_ _him and he's not actually into me but is just really comfortable with me?? Oh no oh_ _nononono_ _what if he is against gay people?!? I don't think I could handle that much damage to my heart. I think I would actually die right then and there holy shit. No! Stop overthinking and just have trust!_ Eddie sighed and proceeded to carry through with his action and knock on the door.

~

Richie sat in his room listening to _Come On Eileen_ by _Dexy's_ _Midnight_ _Runners_ just doodling some gloxinia flowers because he'd remembered from a book he read years ago that gloxinia flowers meant **_love at first sight_** and man, did Richie experience that all right. His peaceful state of drawing had been interrupted when his 'baby' sister opened his door with a message. "Hey Rich, Eddie's here to see you. He said it was important. He's waiting at the bottom of the stairs for you." With that all said, Clarissa closed the door and walked off with an all too familiar sly smile adorned upon her face, leaving Richie a wide-eyed, unprepared, frantic mess. He stole a quick glance at his room and deemed it acceptable before nearly tripping himself to get down the stairs to see Eddie. When Eddie turned around, Richie could almost feel the stress and urgency radiating off of Eddie like heat waves. Richie held an open hand out to Eddie and nodded back up the stairs in the direction of his room. Eddie seemed hesitant to do so but eventually caved and grabbed Richie's hand. Once again, it was like lightning had been in their blood and had finally come to life when their hands touched. Eddie's fingers were numb with exhilaration. Once the duo had arrived in Richie's room, Eddie immediately let go of Richie's hand in favor of his very large, very comfortable bed. Eddie wasn't gonna do this very important thing while uncomfortable. Richie had just watched and smiled adoringly. Seeing the sight of Eddie wrapped up in his blankets made his heart slow down, and the edges of his mind all fuzzy like an out-of-focus videocamera. Richie was enamored with the electrifying soft creature that is Eddie Kaspbrak. Eddie had finally gotten comfortable and had taken notice that Richie was staring, his eyes seeing nothing but him. Eddie laughed to himself and smiled at Richie. "Come join me? It's almost winter and I'm cold from walking over here." Eddie unwrapped himself from the blanket burrito partway in order to make room for Richie. Richie was convinced that he had died and gone straight to Heaven right then and there. There was absolutely no way that Richie was going to miss an opportunity like this, so he returned the smile, nodded, and hopped into the blanket cuddle puddle with Eddie, who nuzzled up close to him like he was a heater. Eddie had settled his face into the crook of Richie's jaw and wrapped his arms around his torso. "Hope this is okay, but 'm freezing and you're just _so_ warm. Like a heater or something." Richie had brought an arm up to Eddie's hair and began to gently play with it as his way of saying _don't worry, I'll always keep you warm._ Eddie let out a contented sigh and in the last moments before falling asleep, he thought, _maybe I can just wait to talk to him, I'm too cozy to do anything right now._ And with that, Eddie fell asleep, cuddled up with Richie The Heater who played with his hair and had a smile painted on his face. Richie felt like his body was dripping with euphoria at every contact point with Eddie. Oh, how good it felt to be so in love with an angel like Eddie Kaspbrak. _Maybe moving to Derry wasn't so bad after all._


	17. Soft & Silent

About an hour after Eddie had fallen asleep, Richie did as well. His face aglow with a soft tinge of pink, his stomach feeling like it was flipped inside out, and his skin ablaze with electricity at every single spot where Eddie's skin met his from where he lay. He held onto Eddie tighter, where he laid sleeping upon his shoulder, and Richie fell asleep smiling and lovestruck.

~

The sun was setting and it had been hours since Eddie came over to deliver his important news to Richie. Yet Clarissa was baffled at the silence that rang deafeningly throughout the house. _Did they sneak out? But why would they? They have no reason to, mom and dad aren't home._ Curiosity got to the best of the young Tozier girl, and so she ventured up from her spot on the couch where she was watching TV and went to go see what had become of the increasingly inseparable duo. Clarissa silently tip-toed up the carpeted stairs and into the hallway. She stood right outside Richie's room and carefully, quietly opened his door. What she saw was not what she was expecting, but adorable nonetheless. _**She saw Eddie laying on Richie's shoulder with his arms wrapped around him, and they were both fast asleep.**_ Clarissa's heart almost melted from how pure and soft and adorable it was. She smiled, pulled her phone out of her pocket and snapped a picture of the dozing pair. As much as she would love to stay and watch the duo sleep, it was getting dark and she needed to know what Eddie's plan was for the night. She walked over to the bed and gently shook Eddie to wake him up. "Hey Eddie, it's getting dark and I need to know if you're going to stay the night or not. What's the plan?" Eddie finally awoke with a yawn loud enough to wake Richie. Which it did. Eddie got up and off of Richie. "Wha-what time is it? Wait it's dark already? Holy shit how long was I asleep for? Rich, wake up, it's already dark." Eddie turned to Richie to get him up despite already being awake, but all Richie did was grab Eddie's arm and pull him back down on his chest to sleep. "No- come on Richie, it's already dark and I need to go home." Eddie started pulling his shoes and jacket on when Richie sat up, blanket pulled all the way up to his head and wrapped around him completely so that all you could see was his face. Richie stuck his bottom lip out to pout and pulled on Eddie's arm again. When Eddie turned around, Richie looked to Clarissa for help. "Uh, I think he wants you to stay the night Eddie. Right Rich?" Richie nodded and smiled shyly. Eddie sighed and thought for a moment. _His dad was out of town for the weekend. His mom won't be showing up anytime soon, so, what's the harm in one night?_ Eddie looked at Richie and nodded. "Okay, okay, I'll stay the night with you. But we have to watch movies okay? That's my one stipulation. I always watch movies during a sleepover." Richie just grinned and nodded happily. Eddie just laughed fondly and started taking off his shoes again.

~

Eddie was sitting atop the kitchen counters swinging his legs while Richie was cooking away like his life depended on it. Richie, being quite the gentleman, had insisted on cooking dinner for Eddie since he was staying the night and had decided to make spaghetti, much to Eddie's dismay. Every now and then Richie would add a new spice to the pasta sauce and Eddie would ask what it was, and Richie's only response would be to hold out the wooden spoon filled with sauce for his Eds to try. Every time Eddie tried the upgraded sauce he would go nuts over how amazing it tasted and compliment Richie on his cooking over and over again. Finally dinner was done. Before anyone else could, Clarissa swooped in and made herself a plate before disappearing up the stairs to her room. Richie and Eddie just laughed before serving themselves and sitting in the expanse living room to watch Netflix on the very nice tv. Richie let Eddie pick out whatever he liked, and all throughout their meal, Eddie just gushed to Richie about how incredible his cooking was and how he should be a chef when he grows up. Richie just smiled and shook his head while looking at Eddie with eyes that spoke more feelings of the heart than any words could. How could he not? Eddie was in love with his cooking, maybe probably him, and he was the most amazing, special, important boy Richie had ever met. So how could he not look at Eddie with his eyes full of love? Eddie never made a big deal out of Richie's silence, and that alone was more than enough for Richie.

~

After dinner, Eddie and Richie continued to watch Netflix until Eddie had fallen asleep on Richie's shoulder, an arm wrapped around Richie's. Rich, who was still awake, had taken the liberty of leaving Eddie to sleep and had just instead decided to carry Eddie up to his room bridal-style. In the process of doing so, Eddie had curled up as much as he could against Richie's chest, and curled up close. Needless to say, Richie was more than overwhelmed. Once upstairs, Richie had carefully tucked Eddie into his bed and then slowly crawled in the bed himself where a half-asleep Eddie cuddled up with Richie the same way he had just hours ago the same day. Even half-asleep, all Eddie wanted to do was be close to Richie as much as possible. All Richie could do was smile fondly and hold his love tightly and pray to the universe that even a chance to be with Eddie in a relationship was in sight. A chance. That's all Richie needed to keep going. Just the idea of a possibility made Richie all giddy inside. But it was worth all the flighty nerves. When it came to Eddie, anything and everything was worth it. And with a parting thought of hope, Richie fell asleep with his heart and mind at peace with one another, finally.


	18. Frozen Warm Daydreams

The winter sun shone upon the Earth cold and brisk, providing nothing but but a burning cold that bit at your cheeks and ears if you stayed out too long. The wind was strong and forceful, pushing you every which way and bringing along even more unwelcoming cold with it's every move. Stanley wasn't a mite happy about the weather that came along with winter. He hated it. But he had to suffer through it all if he wanted to see Bill. Which of course, he did. His bike had broken in the previous week, so he had to walk. He had to walk the dreaded walk of shame into the freezing, unfriendly winter because his pride was much too high to ask his mother to drive him. But of course, Bill was worth the freeze. Bill had called him earlier, asking if he wanted to come over and watch movies together. Naturally, Stan said yes. Stan never said no to Bill. Call it force of habit from being friends with Bill for so many years, but Stan always went along with Bill. But as of late, Stan had been feeling different about Bill. He was confused because all of a sudden Bill had just started to stand out to him. Whenever he would laugh, Stan noticed that Bill's nose would scrunch up and his head would nod with every little noise that emanated from his mouth. Whenever Bill wasn't feeling well, Stan noticed that Bill would rub the right side of his nose and his stutter would get worse and he would go to Bev's to do all kinds of daring shit. As a bird-watcher, Stan was an observer by nature, so of course he knew everyone's mannerisms by heart. But like the ocean, the way Bill acted towards Stan had completely changed with no warning. To be completely honest, Stanley was overwhelmed by it all. But that's not to say he didn't like it. He liked how Bill stuttered less when talking to each other. He liked how he was the only one who could go over to Bill's house without calling ahead and be welcomed inside. He liked how Bill was always looking at him and no one else. Stan didn't have a clue what any of that meant, but he loved it nonetheless. Finally he reached Bill's house and waltzed right on in and hung up his coat. "Billy, I'm here!" Bill's door slammed open and the boy himself came rushing down the stairs and enveloped Stan into tight, soul-warming hug. "Cuh-come on Stanny, I h-have everything set u-up for us. L-let's go." Bill grabbed Stan's hand and led him upstairs to Bill's room where a marathon of movies sat waiting to be watched. Bill had directed Stan to his bed where he sat down and waited for Bill. Billy just grabbed what was dubbed "The Comfy Blankie" and wrapped around Stan before putting on the first movie and joining Stan on the bed. 3 movies and a big bowl of popcorn later, Billy had passed out on Stanny's shoulder. Stan, being the respectable man he sought to be, had just left him while he continued to watch movies. Eventually, Stan himself had grown tired and wanted to lay down. So he went to gently wake Bill up so he could move and both of them could lay down for a proper nap. But as he began to shake Bill awake, the other one had some sleep-induced ideas. "Don' wan' ya t'move Stanny. Less just say an' watch movies. Or we cou' jus snuggle ri' here. Can even bring Georgie wi' us." Stan stared in shock at the half-asleep boy. For one, he hadn't stuttered at all while in his sleepy stupor, and for two, he mentioned his brother Georgie, who he usually doesn't like having around when Stan is over. But Georgie was staying with his and Bill's grandparents for awhile. Stan sighed in defeat. "Okay Billy, we can snuggle. But Georgie isn't here, he's with your grandparents. Now come on, if you want to snuggle you're gonna have to lay down on the bed instead of my shoulder. Yeah-yeah, there you go." Stan had carefully and slowly gotten Bill to lay down as to not wear off any sleep from him. Then Stanny joined and had pulled Bill's weighted blanket on top of them and settled in. Not long after, Bill had grabbed Stan's hand and pulled it close to his chest. Stan wasn't sure if he was still sleeping or not, but didn't move anyways. His heart was racing, his long time crush wanting to snuggle? Holding his hand? Sure, him and Bill have been close like this since they met in Kindergarten, but he couldn't help but have a spark of hope that maybe Bill liked him. While lost in his head, Stan hadn't noticed that Bill had mumbled out a very sleepy, very slurred, "Love you Stanny. Always love you." That, was true. That was always true for Bill. He had loved Stan from the day they met. He realized he had romantically loved Stan when they were 13 and had stood undefeated against Henry Bowers and his goons after a rock war. Over the years, his love had only grown stronger. Bill was fine with leaving things how they were, but lately he'd been longing for a relationship with Stan. He'd been leaving little hints and doing little things to let Stan know that he loved him, wanted him. But so far, as to what Bill knew, it was to no avail. Stan had seemed completely platonic as per usual. Maybe saying he loved Stan was the next step in his plan to finally get Stan to notice or figure out how he felt about him. Maybe even reciprocate those feelings too. But Bill didn't wanna get carried away in his daydreams. He really just hoped for the best. All while sleeping, Bill had dreamt about the beautiful bird boy with the prettiest springy curls who acted annoyed all the time, but was in truth really very happy to have friends like his. How could Bill not love him?


	19. Park Benches and Winter Sunlight

After a morning of stolen glances and lightning touches, Eddie and Richie had left Clarissa to babysit the house while they set off on a walk to the nearest park. While December was almost over, the cold and unfriendly weather had retreated in return for a day of a bright, cloudy sky and brisk air that reminded the town eerily of the past October. Many people had the same idea as Richie and Eddie and had decided to take advantage of the fairly nice day out and take a stroll in the park. Especially mothers and their young children. While the two strode around looking for a somewhat secluded spot to sit, children of many ages ran through and around their legs as they walked by, as well as occasionally bumping into them. As this all happened many times, Eddie just smiled and laughed it off, but it gave Richie very extreme anxiety, although not showing it in his effort to not ruin his little outing with Eddie. But, as they kept walking and as the kids kept interrupting, he couldn't help but be reminded of when _that_ happened. When _she_ was still there. When everything was _still okay_ and when _he could still speak_ but then-but then- everything happened and _he couldn't stop_ _and-and-_

" ** _RICHIE!!"_**

Richie's eyes snapped open. He didn't even realize he'd shut them. Eddie stood in front of him with both of his hands clamped onto his shoulders and fear and worry were all that you could see in his eyes. "What-what's going on Rich? You were having an anxiety attack. Look at you, you're shaking and your fists are clenched." That's when Richie became hyper-aware of everything. His fists clenched so hard his fingernails were digging into his skin and his knuckles were white. His entire body shivering like he'd gone diving in the quarry in the middle of the night. His fast, uneven breathing, like he'd just finished a marathon. Somehow in the midst of Richie having an anxiety attack, Eddie had managed to pull them both away from view of everyone else at the park so unwarranted stares wouldn't be given by unforgiving strangers. Richie was thankful for that. He took a moment to physically relax. First his fists, then his breathing, then his entire body. His mind was far too gone in the past to completely relax. "Hey- come on, Rich. You know you can tell me anything. I don't think you brought your notebook with, but you can use my phone to talk." Eddie guided him to a secluded bench and sat so he could hopefully understand what made Richie react so badly. Richie didn't take the phone from Eddie's outstretched hand. Instead, he reached over and hugged Eddie, burying his face in the other's shoulder, and just broke down sobbing. This wasn't any cry, no. This was the sound of long repressed pain and heartbreak. Eddie almost started crying with him. Rather than join him, Eddie wrapped his arms tight around Richie and held him close. "Oh shit- yeah, there we go, that's it. Come on, Chee, just let it all out, yep, just like that." Eddie continued to soothe and console Richie as he cried his heart out on Eddie's shoulder because he couldn't keep it in anymore. He couldn't hide his pain, he couldn't forget what happened, _he just couldn't anymore._ So he let it all out. "Rich, I-I wanna help you, but I need to know what's wrong. Can you tell me what's wrong? Can you tell me please?" Eddie asked desperately. He hated to see Richie unhappy. He hated to see him cry and be heartbroken. He couldn't stand it. All he wanted to do was help. Slowly, Richie's crying came to a stop. He lifted his head from Eddie's shoulder and looked at him. His eyes were tinted pink and red, his cheeks even redder. Tears were streaming down his face like waterfalls and making marbled patterns across his face, his eyelashes stuck together like glue and glistened in the winter sunlight. _He looked utterly_ ** _broken._** Before Eddie could say another word, Richie grabbed his phone and typed a single sentence. _Clarissa isn't the only one._


	20. Richie Spills The Beans

"Wha- what do you mean Clarissa isn't the only one? Do you guys like, have a secret sibling or something that I don't know about? Rich, please, just tell me what's wrong." Eddie had pleaded. Richie looked at him and took a deep breath. He looked down at his phone and typed out a new message for Eddie to read. _Can we go to your place? I need to tell you something important._ "Oh, um, yeah of course. C'mon let's go." Eddie stood up from the bench they were sitting on and reached a hand out to Richie. He took it and together they walked hand-in-hand to Eddie's house where Richie would unload whatever was making him act the way he was. As they walked, Eddie wondered about what was so important about Clarissa that it made Richie have an anxiety attack in the middle of a park full of kids. He turned his head to look at Richie who was frowning and lost in thought. Eddie ignored the electricity he felt from holding Richie's hand and squeezed it in reassurance. He watched as Richie's face relaxed, and turned to smile at Eddie while returning the simple gesture. "You okay Chee?" Eddie had asked, and all Richie did was smile wistfully and turned to look ahead. Eddie frowned.

  
~

The duo had arrived at Eddie's house and after saying a quick hello to Eddie's dad Frank, they went upstairs to Eddie's room. Eddie sat down on his bed and looked at Richie who was sitting on the ground in front of Eddie. "Okay Richie, we're here now, so you can tell me whatever it is you need to tell me. I promise I won't make fun of you or Clarissa or anything like that. I swear." Richie looked up at Eddie for a second and then got on the bed next to him. He opened his mouth for only a moment before closing it and frowning. He turned to face Eddie and grabbed his hands. Eddie could see the struggle on his face and tried to offer some help. "Hey, hey, don't put pressure on yourself to try to speak. You don't have to if you don't want to or if you can't. Don't push yourself, Chee. Hey maybe we can try sign language like we've been practicing? That could be a good start." Richie thought about it for a minute before nodding his head yes.

Eddie smiled. "Okay great. Look I'll start for you." He then signed to Richie in ASL. _What's on your mind Richie? What's making you so worked up?_ Richie took a minute to translate in his head before signing back. **_I want to tell you about why I don't speak and what caused it but I can't just sign it to you. I can't tell it to you without talking._** Eddie reached over and gently stroked Richie's hand for a minute before responding. _Whatever it is that happened to make you the way you are, I don't care. I like you just the way you are and I don't want you pushing yourself to do something that you obviously can't or won't do._ Richie's heart leaped at such kindness and acceptance, but it only lasted for a second. Richie needed to tell Eddie. He needed to get it all out and tell Eddie about the horrible ghost of his past that haunted him every single day, every waking moment. He wanted to tell Eddie. So he could let him know that he has his complete trust. He just didn't know how. Richie closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath before signing back. **_No, you don't understand. This is something I want to do, something I have to do. Talking is the hard part. Eddie, I haven't spoken a single word in 4 years._**

Eddie's breathing stopped for a second in his confusion and shock. In the moment, he completely forgot that they were practicing signing and just spoke his confusion. "Wait you- are- I- what? You haven't spoken in 4 years?" Richie shook his head. Eddie continued. "So, let me get this straight. You want to tell me why you don't talk and what happened that made you go quiet, but you can't tell me your story unless you actually speak, but you can't speak even though you really want to. I miss anything?" Richie just shook his head again and signed for a glass of water. "Yeah sure, be back in a sec." Eddie said and headed downstairs to his kitchen. While Eddie was fetching him water, Richie took the break to mentally prepare himself for what he was about to attempt. He was going to try to speak for the first time in 4 years. He didn't know how well it was going to go, but he was definitely going to try for Eddie's sake. Eddie soon returned with the glass of water for Richie and sat down in the same place next to him. "Rich, are- are you one hundred percent sure you want to try this? I just don't want you to push yourself too far." Eddie asked. Richie nodded his head yes and offered his open hand as a question. Eddie smiled gently and held his hand. "You can do this Chee, I believe in you." With that, Richie drank the water and prepared himself to speak. He wasn't going to try anything more than a whisper unless he really felt that he could do it. 

He opened his mouth, and uttered a very rough and scratchy, barely audible "hey". Eddie gasped and had a gigantic grin on his face. "Oh my god, Richie! You did it! You really fucking did it! I'm so proud of you Chee, really!" Eddie was smiling and laughing and gripped Richie's hands harder in encouragement. Richie coughed and then smiled even wider than Eddie and reached over to tightly hug Eddie. After a minute he let go and grabbed Eddie's hands again, this time with a grim and dark look on his face, like he hadn't slept at all for the past 4 years. Eddie noticed the change and got worried. "Are you sure you wanna do this? I don't want you to ruin your voice, Rich." Richie just shook his head in disagreement. "No, I have to, I- I need to." He croaked out in a slow and cracked whisper. Eddie nodded solemnly. "Okay, I'll be here listening." Richie cleared his throat before speaking again in that slow and cracked whisper. "Clarissa isn't the only one. She's a twin. 4 years ago, me, her, and her sister An-An-Anastasia-" Richie's voice stuttered when he spoke his sister's name and tears began to silently trickle down his face. "All 3 of us snuck out to the carnival down where we were living at the time while our parents were at work. I stole money from their room so we could afford tickets to use on stuff there. 

3 hours later and we were having a great time, but we ran out of tickets and money. Both me and Clarissa were tired and- and ready to go home, but A-Anastasia wanted to play more games. I told her we ha-had nothing left and that we needed to go home, but she-she wouldn't listen to me. So she ran off. We spent the rest of the day looking for her, but couldn't find he-her. Eventually I saw this clown with weird red hair and a smile like the- the Joker's and I asked if he'd seen her and all he did was laugh and po-point to the nearby river." Richie stopped. He couldn't do it anymore. He drank more water and turned away from Eddie, pulling his knees up to his chest as he silently cried. And then it finally clicked in Eddie's mind. He gasped and slapped his hand over his mouth. "You- you found her in the river didn't you?" Eddie whispered through his mouth. All Richie did was nod. 

"Oh my god, Chee come here, come on." Eddie pulled him into a tight hug with Richie's head on his shoulder. "I'm so sorry Chee, I'm so sorry you guys had to go through that, I'm so so sorry." Richie cried while whispering his next sentence. "I could've saved her. It was my fault. It was all my fault." Eddie closed his own eyes and continued to console Richie. "No, Rich, it isn't. It isn't your fault at all. You couldn't have known that was going to happen, so how could you have stopped it? It's not your fault, I promise." Richie sniffled. "I stopped talking because what I said to her is what caused her to run off and- and- I feel shitty about it every single day. It makes me feel like I'm some horrible monster of a person." Eddie reached up a hand and started to softly pet Richie's head. "No Chee, you're not a horrible monster. In fact, you're the opposite. You are an amazing person who makes me laugh every time I see you. You always make sure everyone in the group is included when we're doing stuff, and you make everyone else laugh too. You're kind and considerate, especially when you walk me home from just about everywhere, you even walk me to school in the mornings even though you do online school and don't have to be up so early. Rich, you are one of the best friends I ever could've asked for, you're my best friend and I am thankful for that every day. Honestly, I'm kinda surprised all the girls in town haven't thrown themselves at you, you do have the workings of a ladies man." 

Eddie said the last bit with a smile, feeling only a lot wistful that Richie was probably straight and would probably freak out and shut Eddie out if he ever knew about his feelings for him. Richie sat up at that. His voice, although just a little bit ruined from the crying, his voice did sound less rough and scratchy through the whisper that he'd yet to rise above. "You- you really think so?" Richie asked timidly. "Yes dude! You could totally get anyone in town if you really wanted. I mean it." Eddie laughed. Richie decided to make a bold and daring move. "What- what if I already know who I want? What if I already like someone? Someone who's.... someone who's really good friends with me? Someone you might know." Eddie just smiled and grabbed Richie's hand and squeezed it. "I'm sure whoever it is will be perfect for you, and if not, I'll kick their ass. I'm the king at school, remember?" Both Richie and Eddie just laughed as they fell into each other and holding on for support. Turns out what had started as an emotionally charged, heartbroken confession had changed into a self-confidence boost and secret hints towards each other being made. Both of the boys could barely remember that the whole ordeal had started out tense and emotional when they were laughing their asses off at nothing, and holding hands for "support".


	21. Ice Covered Confessions

It had been a few days since Richie had finally broke his 4 year streak of not speaking, and every day Eddie makes sure Richie talks- well, more like whispers, at least once a day to help him get used to speaking again. Richie was more than happy to whisper-talk to Eddie, but no one else. Not even his sister. Eddie was the one who got him to finally open up, so Eddie is the only one who gets to hear his voice.

~

Today the Losers Club had decided to go ice skating on the frozen-over quarry and brave the soul chilling cold to spend time with each other. Richie had never gone ice skating before, so Eddie promised to bring him a spare pair of skates and teach him how to ice skate. Richie was relieved he wouldn't have to look like a screwy idiot all on his own. Richie dressed himself in the proper attire, and left a note on his parents door telling them where he'd be, seeing as they'd be home (for once) in 15 minutes. As he was making his way downstairs, he heard a knock on the door and immediately began running down the stairs, almost slipping 5 times. He opened the door with a flush already on his face and a warm grin for Eddie. "You all ready to go Rich? I was thinking we could get there early so I could teach you how to skate and you could practice a little bit before the others arrive and probably jump on your ass for not knowing how to skate." Eddie said with a soft snicker and a bright smile. Richie just sighed in adoration and held his hand out for him. Eddie switched both pairs of skates to his left hand and grabbed Richie's with his right and they ventured onward towards their frozen playground. Eddie just rambled on about his day and some minor issues about his mom and Richie happily listened and squeezed his hand whenever Eddie turned his head to look at him.

~

Once the pair had reached the clearing that guarded the quarry, they stopped and sat down on rocks to catch their breath, but before Eddie sat down on his, Richie kissed the side of his forehead and quickly raced to his own rock, wearing a mile-wide grin on his face that spoke more words than his mouth could. It was daring, bold,....shy, timid, and yet, it spoke the words that Richie couldn't quite yet bring himself to say aloud. It spoke all the words that Richie couldn't find, didn't know how to say, or was simply too scared to say so. Nonetheless, Eddie blushed and smiled shyly. "What- what was that for Richie?" He just smiled with a dopy look on his face and shrugged. "Alright, well come on Romeo, I'm gonna teach you how to ice skate so the others won't pick at you for it." Eddie said with a laugh. He put on and laced up his own pair of skates and handed the spare set to Richie. Eddie stood up and walked over to the ice where he turned towards Richie and held both his hands out for Richie to grab. Richie wobbled his way over to Eddie and very gladly grabbed his hands. He cleared his throat and forced out a whisper. "I hope you have steel toed boots on, because I'm definitely gonna end up going over your toes alot." Eddie just barked out a laugh as he started to slowly scoot backwards as he held tightly onto Richie's hands. "Don't worry about me Richie, I had to teach both Bill and Mike how to skate too, so even though I doubt you'll crush my toes, I'll be fine if you do. I promise." Eddie responded. "Okay, what I'm gonna do first is try to get you to slowly start moving, okay? I'll be holding onto you and guiding you the entire time, so you don't have to worry about falling."

~

It had been about 3 hours after the boys had arrived at the quarry together, and still not a single member of the Losers Club had shown up yet. The boys had decided to take a break to catch their breath, as it turns out, Richie is basically a prodigy at skating. He picked up everything right from the start. It made Eddie smile to see Richie so happy and free. Smiling and laughing because he's even better then Eddie at skating, who would've been in the Junior Olympics by now if he hadn't quit the club when he was 10. Eddie stayed sitting on his rock watching Richie, who went back on the ice after barely 5 minutes of rest. Eddie smiled and let out a contented sigh. He was glad that no one had shown up but them. He liked the alone time. Eddie's mind began to wander, and eventually he wandered right back to when Richie kissed the side of his forehead just 3 hours ago. His face flushed even more while thinking about it. To be completely honest, Eddie loved it. He loved the feeling and he wanted more. He sighed and propped his head on his hand with his elbow on his knee. He knew he had a major crush on Richie, and he'd been crushing on him for months now. He just didn't know what to do about it. He couldn't consult Bev anymore because all she'd say was to just ask him what his sexuality is, which was far too direct for Eddie's liking, and he couldn't ask any of the other Losers because they're either too straight to understand or too lovestruck in their own world to notice anyone else. He watched Richie as he tried to find a solution to his problem. What if I just- no, that's stupid. Maybe I can- definetly not, I'd get teased until the end of time..........maybe I can just, I don't know, try what he did? It's really risky but also why the fuck not, right? Eddie immediately stood up and made his way over to Richie as he watched him fall on his ass. "Are you okay Chee? That looked like a pretty rough fall..." Richie just shook his head to clear it of any hidden pieces of ice and grinned at Eddie. He reached both of his hands up for Eddie, like a baby reaching it's hands to be picked up. Eddie scoffed with a smile and grabbed his hands and pulled him up. "You big baby, you can't even get up by yourself." Eddie said with a smirk as he skated away quickly to avoid being caught by Richie. All he did was laugh loudly and start chasing after Eddie with his arms held out in front of him. After about maybe 15 minutes or so of Richie chasing Eddie and Eddie squealing and skating away faster, he'd finally been caught. Richie grabbed him with both arms around Eddie's waist and pulled him in for a hug from behind while they both skated towards a shadowed part of the quarry. Eddie decided to be bold and grab Richie's hand and lead him over to the secluded part of the quarry covered in shadows from the trees above. "Whatcha doin, Ed's? Showing me your secret stack of s e x y magazines?" Richie joked at a level barely above a whisper. Eddie scrunched up his face in response. "Don't call me Eds, I hate it. And second of all, ew gross no." Eddie flicked Richie's wrist as a warning with a sly smile on his face. Eddie turned towards Richie with his hands on his hips. "Come over here Rich, I wanna show you something." Eddie said with not a single hint of nervousness in his voice that was flooding his nerves. Richie lifted an eyebrow in question but got closer anyways. Once he was within arm's length of Eddie, Eddie grabbed a handful of Richie's shirt and spun him around and pinned him to the icy wall of the quarry. "Woah there spaghetti, if you wanted to kiss me, all you had to do was say so." Richie spoke in a soft voice barely above a whisper with his hands up in defense. Also with a shit-eating smirk on his face. Eddie just rolled his eyes at him. "Shut up Richie." And with that, Eddie leaned forward and kissed him. It's finally fucking happening, the one thing that both of them didn't know they wanted so badly, but needed it nonetheless. Eddie's left hand let go of Richie's shirt and instead let it rest on the corner of his jawline, and stood on his tippytoes to reach his Chee better. Richie had wrapped his hands around Eddie's waist and pulled him in against his own waist. It was a whole new world to them, like something magical, or biblical had happened to them. Eddie felt like some magical creature like a fairy had graced his lips, but no. It was Richie, it was HIS Richie. The one he'd known for all of 6 months, but had fallen for him so fast and so much there was no getting out of it. He loved Richie. He loved how he was such a good friend to everyone in the Losers Club, he loved how he always brought Eddie snacks on the weekends because he knew that Eddie forgets to eat on the weekend sometimes, he loves how he's such an amazing big brother to Clarissa despite losing her twin, he loves how he holds Eddie's hand wherever they go, he loves how they cuddle together during sleepovers, and most of all, he loves how Richie cares for and about Eddie every day of his life since meeting him on the sidewalk in the summer. He especially loved the feeling of Richie's lips on his. It felt like all the lighting he'd felt from touching Richie had met in between their lips and he never wanted it to stop. On Richie's end, it felt like a dream come true. All he felt was fire. Fireworks, sparklers, volcanoes, bonfires, lava, none of it compared to the enticingly electric flames he felt when kissing Eddie. He was on fire, but in the best way possible. If he had to choose between having only a day left to live after kissing Eddie or living to 309 but never kissing Eddie, he'd have to go with the first option. He knows all too well that it sounds incredibly clichè, but he understands why. He loves Eddie with his entire being, he'd do anything and everything for him, no matter what. He'd be perfectly content with having kissed Eddie and die the next day if it meant he knew that Eddie loved him back just as much he does him. Richie never wanted the fire in him to burn out. They stood there, pushed up against the frozen stone wall with only barely enough ice underneath their feet to support them, for barely a few minutes, but it felt like an entire lifetime had passed for them. Eventually, Eddie pulled back to catch his breath, his cheeks ablaze, and a meek smile on his face. Richie just shook his head with a grin on his face, looking the happiest he's ever been. "God, I really love you so fucking much Eddie Spaghetti. So damn much." Richie spoke in a normal volume, feeling like he deserves to talk normally now. Eddie's face lit up at the sound of Richie speaking at a normal volume for the first time, and he reached his hands up and rested them on Richie's cheeks. "I- you- don't call me Eds, I hate it, and you don't understand how incredibly proud of you I am for finally breaking your silence despite everything you've gone through, and I am so especially proud of you for finally reaching a normal speaking volume, I am SO proud." Eddie stood on his tippytoes once more and kissed Richie again, this time it's softer, kinder, and it speaks all the good things in the world to Richie, because finally someone is proud of him. After only a moment, Eddie dropped down to his feet again and grabbed Richie's hand. " And I love you too. Now come on Chee, let's go home and make ourselves hot chocolate at my place, sound good?" Richie just laughed as Eddie led them towards the edge of the quarry. "That sounds absolutely okay, Eds. I'm pretty sure my ears are frozen anyways." Eddie just laughed and smiled softly as they finally reached the rocks to take off their skates and put their regular shoes back on and finally make their way back to Eddie's house where they'd have Eddie's dad Frank make them hot chocolate, then disappear to the basement where they'd transformed it into their own personal hang out space, just for the two of them. Richie stayed the night for another sleepover where they cuddled together as usual, but not before a sweet and soft goodnight kiss.


	22. Watching A Silent Dawn

A month.

A month had passed since that frigid day that burnt through the boys's hearts more than could be put into words. As every day passed, they grew to know and trust each other even more. Any relationship was destined to crumble and fall apart if it wasn't built on communication, trust, and just overall knowledge of the person you were putting your faith in. Both Eddie and Richie knew that well enough, so they decided to build on the friendship that had already been there before rather than diving headfirst into a relationship. Romance could wait for them. So every day after school, Eddie walked over to the Tozier's house to spend time with his two favorite siblings he'd ever met. After finally learning what made Richie to go mute, his heart ached for Clarissa. It ached for the sister, the best friend that she'd never get to grow up with. Her twin. So he made it his personal mission to let Clarissa know that he loved her like she was his own sister by hugging her tightly in his arms every time he came over, regardless if she even remembered having a twin or not.

~

The weekend had rolled by and the boys were absolutely ecstatic to spend the entire weekend again with their best friends, but were timid to spend time with each other as mutual crushes. Regardless, it was something they were looking forward to. As Eddie bounded down the stairs after school ended that Friday with the Losers by his side, they were all pleasantly surprised by Richie leaning on the bike stands where all the Losers' bikes stood, waiting for all of them to finally make an exit. "Ri-Richie? What are y-you doing here?" Bill had asked, letting the words trip and fumble out of his mouth. Before Richie could scribble down anything on his notebook, Mike cut in for him. "Obviously he's here to see Eddie. They're in loooooooooovveeee, remember?" Both Eddie and Richie blushed and looked away from the group as a cacophony of bubbly laughter lilted away from their mouths and into the gray, overcast sky. Eddie rolled his eyes and scoffed, his cheeks and the tip of his nose glowing a soft pink from embarrassment. "Oh shut the fuck up, at least I have the balls to admit to someone when I like them." Eddie spoke while glaring smugly at Stan and Bill, who have yet to make any moves on each other even though they were in over their heads with feelings for each other. Stan's eyes lit up in obstinance while Bill just hid his shock in a cough. Bev, Eddie, and Richie snickered at their reactions while Ben and Mike patted the boys backs in sympathy while trying (and failing) to hide their smiles and laughter behind their hands. Once Eddie calmed down from all the laughter, he turned his head towards Richie and reached out a hand. "Ready to go yet and leave these idiots already?" Richie mirrored the smile and grabbed his hand. As they turned to leave, Richie turned around towards the group and flipped them the bird with a mile-wide grin on his face, sending everyone into another round of laughter that left them heaving at the chest. Eddie bellowed and threw his head back, unaware of how Richie watched him, his facial expression softened and his eyes aglow with everything he couldn't find the words to say.

~

Later that day, the afternoon had come and gone, filled with the boys playing video games, reading comics and raiding the kitchen together, Clarissa popping her head in a couple times to see what they were doing, the absence of their parents all but forgotten. As the evening came forth and the night greeted the boys with a clear sky littered with stars like paint splatter, Richie had an idea. He set down the comic he was reading and nudged Eddie's shoulder with his foot. Eddie looked up from his own comic and looked at Richie in question. "What's up Rich?" Richie, too tired to try, forgoed using his voice and instead used sign language to propose his idea. "You-you want, you wanna go on the roof? Rich it's like 1am, it's gonna be freezing out there." He just shrugged his shoulders in return and rather than wait for another rebuttal, he got up from the hammock they shared and threw on a hoodie, tossed another to Eddie, and held out a hand. Eddie looked at his hand, and sighed in resignation. "Oh why the fuck not. Let's go." Eddie grabbed Richie's outstretched hand, got up, threw on Richie's sweater and turned towards the window where he climbed with ease onto the roof that was only a foot above the second floor window. Richie grinned and followed suit.

~

Hours Of random conversation later, Eddie yawned and rubbed his eyes that were beginning to droop with exhaustion. Richie snickered and teased Eddie in a low tone, once again just barely above a whisper. "Getting tired Eds? It's okay, don't worry, I know that my hot bod and sexy voice are hard to ignore." Richie grinned evilly. Eddie rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Oh please, Greta Bowie has more sex appeal than you do." Eddie said, punctuating his sentence with a light shove at Richie's shoulder. Richie, much too fast for Eddie's reflexes, caught his wrist in a tight grip and pulled Eddie away from his spot where he was laying on the roof and instead pulled him close so that his head rested on Richie's shoulder. "Hey- let me go you asshole, I was comfy there!" Richie just shook his head no and looped his arms around Eddie's torso and held him tight and close, nuzzling his cheek into the top of Eddie's soft hair. Eddie struggled for only a bit longer before giving up and just letting himself relax and sink into Richie and the hold he had on him. He began to doze off, the cool of the night that had turned into early morning perfectly contrasting with the sweater he was wearing and Richie's arms around him, warming him from the inside out. Just as he was about to fully sink into sleep, he was awakened from some simple words from Richie, spoken at full volume. "Thank you for loving me for who I am Eds. Thank you for helping me grow. Thank you for letting me love you." Eddie turned around in Richie's arms so that they were face to face and reached an arm up to place a soft and gentle hand on his cheek. "No, thank you Richie for letting me in and be apart of your life and learn who you really are. Thank you for letting me in and being your best friend, you're someone I could never forget. Not ever." Richie smiled softly, unspilled tears pooled in his eyes, refracting light like diamonds and stars. He leaned forward and kissed Eddie slow and soft, taking the time to pour in every single feeling Eddie had ever made him feel, hoping he could get the message. After a moment Eddie pulled back to gather his breath, tears of his own already cascading down his cheeks, overjoyed with adoration and love for the boy whose arms he was entrapped in. He smiled and gently returned the favor before speaking again. "Let's-let's watch the sunrise, yeah?" Eddie had asked while trying to wipe the tears of happiness off his face, a smile still painted on. Richie smiled softly and nodded before pressing a kiss to Eddie's forehead and let his boy turn around to face the sky. They couldn't have asked for anything better, just smiling softly and not speaking, just laying together on the roof of Richie's home, watching a silent dawn.


End file.
